Despite what the picture would imply, this post isn’t about diamonds. Well, actually it is. It’s about a diamond you once gave someone you loved.
I like to have fun with my posts, but I’ve been feeling compelled to take a more serious approach and share a simple concept I feel needs to be heard.
If you are in a relationship or marriage, regardless of where you are in the life of that relationship or marriage, this message is for you.
Don’t Stop Trying
The one piece of advice I have shared most since my divorce, it is this… Don’t stop trying.
I have shared this with married couples and with divorcing couples because that is what led to the end of my marriage.
I firmly believe that had I not stopped trying, my marriage would not have ended.
What exactly do I mean?
Don’t stop trying to put your spouse first. Don’t stop trying to see the good in them. Don’t stop trying to see things from their perspective.
Don’t stop trying to put in a little extra effort (even if they are not!).
Don’t stop trying to be the person you promised to be when you were still courting them and trying to win their love.
You see, if you don’t stop trying, then you will never have to regret. Better yet, you may never get there in the first place.
Don’t Stop Believing
I’m not quoting a song here. What I mean is don’t stop believing in the marriage and the life you always dreamed of.
If you are considering divorce, then you have clearly drifted from the plan or path you intended to be on. No marriage begins with the intention of ending.
If you and your partner can regain clarity on what you intended your marriage to be, it will allow you the ability to see how you are off that mark, and where you may have drifted away.
Don’t stop believing in each other. Don’t stop believing in the life you intended to have.
The one thing you will regret and miss more than anything after a divorce is “your life” that you no longer have.
You will miss the routines and the familiar things you could always count on. You will miss the peace of mind you had in knowing you could go off and do what you had to do, because your spouse was always there when you came home.
Don’t stop believing that you can have that.
Just Don’t Stop
My last piece of advice is simple… Don’t Stop!
If ever you find yourself stop caring, loving, giving, missing, longing, desiring, trusting, feeling, trying and believing, you will be on the path to failure.
Marriage cannot be stagnant. There is no complacency. There is no way to simply just coexist.
Marriage is very much an action word. The very concept is a meant to be proactive.
Marriage is a partnership, and it does require both members of the team to do their part, but you should never leave any question or doubt that you are solid in doing yours.
Did I Mention Don’t Stop?
No matter where you are in your marriage, even if you are nearing what feels like the end, I encourage you… please don’t stop.
You may feel it’s over, and maybe it is, but you can never go back if you stop trying and give up. You will always regret walking away with effort left inside you. You will never feel truly at peace with a failed marriage.
I realize there are scenarios where you need to stop. There are times where you should stop. I am not speaking to those cases.
To everyone else, the ones who are wondering, praying, searching for answers and direction, to the ones sleeping on the couch, to the ones taking their time getting home because they just don’t want to face it all again, and to the ones feeling lost, alone, and forgotten… don’t stop.
You will have a lifetime of regret if you give up and quit. You will move on, start over, and find happiness again, but you will still have regret. Don’t accept that ending until it is absolutely over.
Try again, give again, server again, do whatever you have to one more time, and then again. Never let yourself be the one to quit. I did…. and it still hurts.
Please don’t stop.
Question: Have you done this? Have you not stopped? What came of it? Leave a comment below.